I was moved by Bernie Anderson’s comment on last week’s blog about finding community – finally, and unexpectedly – in a retirement home. His comment also got me thinking about the potential role of Elders in our efforts to create a more sustainable society.
In the first place, this is obviously not a new idea since older cultures recognized the important contribution of elders to the larger society, particularly the young. Elders, it was assumed, had drawn some conclusions from their experience about what is important in life: like family and children, and friends, and quality time, etc. This implied role of what you might call holders or at least reminders of such values, which are in fact the foundation of a morality, has been largely lost to our modern culture. Theodore Roszak who wrote a book called The Making of a Counter Culture back in the Sixties makes a related point in a more recent book – The Making of an Elder Culture: Now is a good time, he suggests, for the Baby Boomers, who marched and demonstrated for justice and equality and freedom in the Sixties and who mostly drifted away from these youthful efforts, to pick up and complete some of the implied promises of those times now that they have the time and the opportunity as they enter their elder years .
As I enter this stage myself, I have been thinking a lot about how this might be done and have come up with something I’d like to open up a conversation about here. It is the idea that, in these present times of change and the challenges they bring, we need something to guide us. This something could be the wisdom of experience on the one hand but it could also be the creativity of our own collective imagination which is the capacity that has always enabled us to respond to the challenges we’ve met as a species: the capacity to survive and thrive (sustainability in other words). But we need to be able to access this wisdom and creativity. Or perhaps we need people to proclaim this internal genius for us the way the prophets of old did for their people; we need to hear a prophetic voice, that we will recognize as our own, reminding us of our inner values and inspiring us apply them creatively. And who better to listen FOR and express this prophetic voice than Elders.
Here in Bedford, NY we have experimented with this idea in various forms: ‘Ambassadors of Spirit’ was one form that included identifying people that the community would readily acknowledge as elders – informal leaders, with previous achievements and proven integrity – and inviting them to listen FOR and offer to us this prophetic voice of our own innate wisdom. The energy that this would generate could be directed toward the wonderful plans (our Climate Action Plan) and related programs we have already developed but which need the creative commitment – the collective imagination – of the community in order to be effective.
I read two things recently that I think capture the essence of what I’m suggesting. One is from the Dalai Lama who, in his latest book, speaks about the need for a new ‘secular’ ethics. He adds that such ethics (which reflect the core values of the community) cannot be imposed from the outside but have to arise in the hearts of individuals. This is what he says:
“…… To try to impose moral principles from outside, to impose them, as it were, by command, can never be effective…. Of course, all the world’s major religions, with their emphasis on love, compassion, patience, tolerance and forgiveness, can and do promote inner values. But the reality of the world today is that grounding ethics in religion is no longer adequate. This is why I believe the time has come to find a way of thinking about spirituality and ethics that is beyond religion.”
I would add that ‘a new way of thinking about spirituality and ethics’ is as an awareness of what is right and wrong that is born of inner values and not simply a set of rules and regulations.
The other thought comes from the late Steve Jobs who stated that people seldom know what they need to achieve their hearts’ desires so his role was to listen FOR this on their behalf. People would immediately recognize this ‘need’ as their own, he added. In his case, of course, this took the form of his various Iproducts. In our case, it would take the form of a prophetic voice that would be the initial statement of a new ‘secular ethics’ born of our collective imagination.
My conclusion is that every community would benefit from having such a group of elders who would serve simply as reminders of our inner values – a council of conscience, ambassadors of our collective wisdom – by listening FOR what we need to fulfill our heart’s desires. I’d love to hear what you think.
Hi Danny, I too smiled when I read Bernie’s comment about his new community. Those of us who proudly came of age in the 60s often have a latent longing for living in a commune, a community of people. I do. My only experience was living for some weeks on Kibbutz Tel Josef in Israel in 1971. That way of life made so much sense to me. It was about living and working together and sharing resources. Thank you Bernie for the enlightening thought–a new community of elders awaits me.
And thank you Danny for a place to find and share these new ideas. Susanna
Hi Danny,
While it seems to me that there are, and always have been people of wisdom among us, people whose lives perhaps embody what it means to be; nevertheless, for all our thrashing about, we don’t seem to listen to them very much. It is such a perplexity, don’t you agree?
I am recalling and quote from The Little Prince:
” In the course of this life I have had a great many encounters with a great many people who have been concerned with matters of consequence. I have lived a great deal among grown-ups. I have seen them intimately, close at hand. And that hasn’t much improved my opinion of them.”
Warm regards,
Peter
I have to agree with Peter’s comment, though I believe inherently in what Danny is suggesting, the only way I have been able to cause people to listen and to think WITH each other productively is by employing one of Danny’s Dialogue techniques. It was memorable in its effectiveness, causing people to open themselves to each other. But I found it difficult to cause circumstances to occur that allowed TIME for the Dialogue excercise and at length despaired of being able to use it often enough to make a difference in the various groups with whom I worked. Best thanks for your good thinking, Danny! Warmest wishes, Anne
Good thoughts from everyone on this post, including some who wrote directly to me. I think it is probably true that you certainly can’t force listening and that a clearly important challenge is finding (creating) the circumstances that would give the time that real Dialogue requires. I believe this happens organically, whether through processes like retirement or a context – like the present economy – that calls for it. Bernie speaks of the first one, Freelancers – see previous post – has responded to the second. As the Bard – Shakespeare that is – said one time:
‘There is a tide in the affairs of men (sic) which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; ommitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat and we must take the current when it serves or lose our ventures.’
I think the key word here is “community”.
When we have talked in the past about “elders” it has always meant a “community” of our older members who have the experience to share what they have learned in their life’s journey. Sadly, we find that not many of these so-called elders have acquired the degree of wisdom one would think commensurate with their years and they continue to make the same flawed judgements they did when they were young. Racism, bigotry, plain old stubborness are hard to shake and sometimes become even more fixed as one ages. A true “elder” or wise person is special and rare, just as any wise person these days is special and rare. A quick look at the news and we see the many unwise elders leading the world down into cataclysm. It’s enough to make one not trust anyone over 30! (I’m 48, don’t trust me!)
Seeking out these wise elders is a feat unto itself, then getting them together to be a communal entity that will listen FOR others as wise as them is a true quest.
Some international “elders” have accomplished this quest to a degree. http://www.theelders.org/ But no one really pays them much attention.
And when they are discussed it is often, sadly, in mocking tones.
And these folks, even with their human foibles, are truly wise!
We have to ask the question: What is the bottom line? What is the goal of such an endeavor?
Is it to build an elder community that can help the younger generation prepare for hard times?
Is it to create a safety net for the “wise” elders to preserve their voices and experience?
Is it to bridge the divide between a lost culture of community and the current individualistic & egotistical one? Is it as simple as just finding people who are in their golden years and want to share their similar morals and philosophies?
Knowing where this is going and its purpose would help define the parameters of such an endeavor. The most worrisome outcome of such an endeavor would be to gather a group of elder men, specifically, once considered pillars and leaders of their communities (sadly, usually men), but that are trapped in old concepts that don’t apply to our new world of diminishing returns, peak oil, environmental degradation, and all out climate change.
The most well intentioned and “wizened” of these elders could be the most misinformed. Antithetically, some not so wise elders might be the ones best prepared to show us the path out of our imminent demise.
The other big question is: Who’s to say which is which?
Right now, some of our wisest teachers are in their twenties and part of the Occupy movement. We have much to learn from their fresh perspectives and I take great pains to keep my ears and heart open to their wisdom. Here’s a link to a blog written by Patrick Sullivan of Missouri Transition talking about the wisdom of the Occupy movement.
http://paulineschneider.blogspot.com/2012/01/patrick-sullivan-of-transition-missouri.html
I do believe that if we are to prepare ourselves for the coming challenges and remain strong communities (that’s assuming we ARE strong), then we have to be ready to see the world with new eyes and be willing to embrace new methods of living with each other. Some of those methods will be old fashioned like creating community gardens, building community centers with communal kitchens, developing Community Supported Agriculture, and building supports for our most fragile members of our communities, our children and elderly. Some methods will be new, like developing community power grids, community based economies, and community sharing of equipment and machinery. Finally some will be an integration of both old and new, like creating a community spirituality that has nothing to do with dogma or religion but addresses our deepest needs for connecting to each other and to Universe from which we all come.
Again, the key word is “community”. Like the old adage says: Together we stand, divided we fall. If we are able to put aside the institutionalized, and fairly modern, beliefs of politics and religion, we might be able to get back to seeing each other as friends, neighbors and the human beings that evolved over millions of years as closely knit social beings, incapable of surviving without others intimately and personally involved with each other. I am always touched by the image of the Neanderthal elder, crippled at a young age beyond able to care for himself and yet lived out his life through the obvious ministrations of his family and tribe. This fact remains true today, despite the flawed Protestant Ethic that teaches each person is an island unto himself and independently responsible for his success or failure. (shaking my head)
The truth is we need each other no matter how old or how wise (trust me, I love some pretty unwise people!).
We all have gifts we want to share.
And personally, I think we should make food gardens together.
Everywhere!
Thank you Danny for being a ray of hope and sunshine!
thankyou so much for sharing these wonderful thoughts with us!